Back to School

I’m getting a master’s degree.

Five words I never thought would escape my lips and now I can’t picture my future without them. In coming to this conclusion I’ve only had one or two minor melt downs, although my boyfriend might remember it differently…

The truth is: my cubicle job leaves me unfulfilled most days. There are nights I come home and I wonder if I made a difference. Sometimes I worry they wouldn’t even notice if I didn’t show up.

Sorry I'm a Debbie Downer

Sorry I’m a Debbie Downer

I’ve struggled with both sides of the augment:

1. You’re so lucky to have a paycheck, a 401(k), and healthcare. What the hell are you complaining for?
2. You should never settle for a job you don’t like. Quit and do something you love.

The logical side of me thinks I should buckle down, put in my time, and wait until the baby boomers retire then I’ll be running the show. But there’s still a free spirited side of me that wants to quit, live off the grid in a travel trailer, and sell framed cross-stitch projects and handmade clothing. I constantly battle with the adventurous life I pictured when I was 18 and the stable life I desire in my late 20s.

Is it okay to still not know what I want to be when I grow up? Does it go completely against everything I stand for to measure success in dollar signs? Will I be happy doing what I love in my free time instead of as a job?

If you haven’t figured out by now, I’ve decided to take the logical route. I’ve realized that to be satisfied in my job I need to become a more valuable employee. To become a more valuable employee I need to further my education. By furthering my education I will qualify for better jobs. And with a better job I will earn more money to afford adventures. Maybe I’ll even buy a travel trailer someday.

May 12th begins my two year journey. This time I promise not to binge drink on Sundays, use cliff notes, or write my midterm paper the night before it’s due… okay, I can’t actually promise I won’t write my midterm paper the night before it’s due. After all, Logical Kaitlin is still Kaitlin.


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